Nissan vs Porsche

I wrote a piece about the Nissan GT-R here about how it even

beat the Porsche 911 GT2, Koenigsegg CCR at the Nuburgring lap record on standard tires. Not cool enough? It also beat the 1,000 hp Bugatti Veyron

boxing

Off course, if you have been looking around the net, Porsche is the spoilt brat and accuse Nissan of lying and cheating. You see, what happened was Porsche bought a GT-R, took it to Nuburgring to see if they can match the claimed time around the famous circuit. Porsche’s claim that the GT-R got nowhere near 7:29 unless it used slick or non standard tires. This has been going around a few days.

Nissan: Ve build car faster than Porshai, hai!

Porsche: (quietly) We don’t stink thez kan do it.

Nissan: Oh, we hav car faster than a Porshai 911, hai. Ve very happy :-)

Porsche Engineer 1: Oh, did thay do thatz? Nissan cannoz be faster than se Porsche.

Porsche Engineer 2: Let’s buy one and see how fast zet goez. Maybe they cheated.

Porsche Engineer 1: Good. Le’ts do tat.

After the test in Nuburgring

Porsche Engineer 2: I tolz you, it’s impozzzible.

Porsche Engineer 1: We go tell Nisan, the car is sploit.

At Nissan workshop

Nissan: You servis gear, Porshai san?

Porsche Engineer 2: Nein?

Nissan: Change oil?

Porsche Engineer 1: Nein?

Nissan: Ve give you new tiya and brake. Yu need ve show you how to driv? Sure can, Porshai, san!

Porsche Engineer 1 & 2: Still kannot!

Nissan: Ve hav driving school. You sign here pleez.

See more stories here, here and here

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